What is this... "free time"?

Like I wrote earlier, I'm back into the swing of things with all of my Seattle obligations. We are still working on the event called Ripples of Hope which is coming up this Thursday. My part in it has been kept pretty much the same only now I am actually having to act on my role by preparing myself and the rest of the program team.

We've been doing run throughs like crazy and going to a ton of meetings. In fact, yesterday, I finally was able to meet the stars of the evening: Bill and Mimi Gardner Gates.

We did a run through early in the morning with our board member who works for the Gates Foundation at one of the Seattle sites for the foundation and then met the couple for a round table and lunch at the other site. Somehow, I ended up being seated next to Bill and Mimi during our lunch but I didn't need to worry. They are both really cool. I was completely expecting rich snobs but I was completely wrong.

What's more funny is that their aide is from my highschool and graduated two years before I did. I even remember him although I am sure he didn't remember me.

I've been doing a lot more research lately on the foundation itself and I am really impressed. I don't know why I haven't looked into them before. I know that I am really interested in staying active in civic service and I feel like the Bill Gates Foundation could be a huge opportunity for me to appease my newfound desire to make a difference. We'll see how some things pan out. Hopefully, the aide guy, can give me a hand.

My workload at the Gap has also been pretty high lately as well. Part of me is getting really worn down but another part of me knows that I need the money desperately so I am willing to put up with things.

I need a break like crazy but really can't afford to take one.

So, that guy I wrote about in my last post is still around (and it's awesome!). Patrick is amazing and I have been spending every weekend with him. It's a bit rough since he lives about an hour away but the weekends have been great. Everyone that has met him keeps telling me that I have found a keeper and I have definitely not found a reason to disagree!

You know how things just work totally out of the blue? That's how this has been going. I meet him at a club, we go home together, and then things just seem to work out. Now, all I do is work waiting for the weekends.

Fridays have so much more meaning now!

Back Into Things

Last Week
Last week when I got back from Missouri I jumped straight into City Year. Not City Year in the traditional sense, or at least the City Year that I am used to, but instead, City Year in the Camps City Year Version.

Every year, or so I'm told, City Year puts on an entire week long camp for elementary students from Seattle during their spring break. The week provides curriculum, activities, snacks, and a safe place for a lot Seattle's younger students. When I was coming back I thought that I would have that following Monday off of work. However, I ran entire the Executive Director, Gayatri, of City Year on the plane from Minneapolis to Seattle. She brought me the sad news about starting ASAP on Monday morning.

However, Camps was much more than I was anticipating. I was put in charge of facilitating recreation for 3rd through 5th grade students at Camps. Everything was already planned out. All I had to do was make sure I knew what I was doing, that I knew what the students were supposed to be learning during each exercise, and also that I was available when the team leaders in charge of the students needed to have some alone time.

I loved Camps. I loved how different it was from the normal grind of Young Heroes. I liked that I got to spend 4 out of 5 days of Camps outside in the sun and to be active and doing things I considered to be fun.

I got to meet a ton of really cool young people. My favorite of all of the students, however (I totally am not supposed to have favorites - but I do!), was this little 3rd grade boy named Andreas. He was hilarious. He couldn't speak English very well as it was his second language to Spanish but that didn't take away from his funny factor. Tuesday I was leaving by bus from Camps and he and his family happened to be on the same bus. He was sitting more towards the front and would keep looking back and smiling really big at me. I was just smiling back at the beginning but then I decided that I would make faces instead. Andreas just copied the faces I made and would then start laughing hysterically. For the rest of the week he was pretty inseparable from me whenever his team (the Wondrous Wizards) were near by. When he found out that I am on a soccer team he invited me to come watch the "Mexican Team" play soccer but didn't know where or when.

He was definitely one of the highlights of my week with Camps and although now I am sure that Andreas, along with the rest of the students, no longer know who I am, hopefully we made enough of an impact to get them to come back for Camps next year and be in another safe learning environment.

We got a surprise from our boss on the last day of Camps. We were going to have Monday off. And that was without having to work on Saturday! I somehow ended up having a three day weekend without having to work either job! And I would get to play soccer on Sunday! Uhhh, can there be anything more perfect?


The Weekend
I went out that Friday night with some of the girls I work with to a straight bar called Toi in Belltown. This group always has fun when together so the night began pretty great. The girls like to go to this place called Belltown Billiards to end their night. It's a club that involves a lot of straight drunk people getting naughty. I have been there before with them but have always ended up acting as the protector from guys that hit on the girls who the girls don't want to talk to. I think one night I ended being the "boyfriend" of every girl I came with.

What can I say? I'm good at what I do and I get around.

Haha!

Needless to say, I don't really enjoy going to that place. So, if I start the night with these chicas, I typically go my own way when they are ready to head to the good ol' Belltown Billiards. This night, I was determined to go to one of my favorite places in Seattle, Rplace. I love that there is a gay club that actually plays hip hop and not just house or techno. When I went up to the very top floor, I ran into my ex's roommate and my ex's old roommate. These two guys are pretty good friends and are almost always together. Luckily, they both like me, so I wasn't really alone if I didn't want to be.

What these guys failed to tell me, though, was that my ex, Michael, came with them. And one of Michael's other ex's before me. Haha, how funny that conversation went. Michael was trashed, and because of that, was pretty nice and civil - and honest. He kept saying how big of a douche bag he was and how dumb he was. I agreed with all of it and let him know a bit about what I thought about him ditching me the day after Christmas (start playing "Last Christmas" by George Michaels now). He also told me how he made his current guy go out of town for the weekend so he could hang out with his friends and whoever else he wanted to. And that this guy is really annoying. Ugh, people who really like other people and want to be in a relationship with them do not treat others this way. I told Michael that and before he could respond, some drag queen came over and Michael started flirting with her. Or whatever it is he does. I spent the rest of the time they were there talking to Michael's other ex about school and about just turning 21. That group didn't stay much longer though and I was left on my own, just like how I came to Rplace.

It wasn't much longer, though, that I noticed a guy near me dancing with a girl and that the occasional glance came my direction. Eventually the girl approached me and I knew right away that she was trying to soften me up for the guy. She asked me to dance, which is something I love to do and I know that I am alright at doing. Some time while we were dancing the guy started dancing with us and the girl moved out of the way - haha! The guy's name is Patrick (I know you're reading this, haha) and the girl is Alysse. They also came with Patrick's best friend, Toby. After a bit, Toby and Alysse left. Patrick wanted to stay with me and Alysse made me promise to take care of him. I did promise, of course, and I meant it.

I spent a lot of the rest of the weekend with Patrick, Toby, and Alysse, and had a lot of fun doing so. He's coming back up this weekend and I'm pretty excited. I dunno, I don't want to jinx anything, but he's a pretty cool guy. I have a tendency to fall pretty fast and I often set myself up to be burned. I really hope that this isn't the case here.

Since I know he reads this, how embarrassed am I going to be the next time I talk to him? Hahaha. But I guess that's what these types of things are for - getting it all out there.


Changes
My boss took me aside today and sat me down to talk about staying with City Year for another year. He was wanting to talk to me about becoming a Service Leader for City Year for 2008-2009.

This is a point of contention with me. I absolutely love my kids and I absolutely love being with them whenever I get the opportunity, however, I have a lot of problems with the organization as a whole and some of its "culture".

Inclusiveness is not empowered by conformity. Inclusiveness and acceptance are two main focal points for City Year. However, a lot of what we do has to be done or to look a certain way every time. Conforming individuals is not a way to create an environment that accepts everyone. In fact, I would say that conformity breeds exclusion.

There is also absolutely no system set in place for change. One of the facts of life I learned from college is this: "Tradition is the enemy. To be in an environment without constant change is to be stagnant." There needs to be something set in place for corps members and outside volunteers to affect growth and change. City Year is too uniform and it grates on many individuals who identify heavily with their own individualism.

I am also sure that my frustrations with my experience have been partially team based and influenced from outside as well.

We'll see. To be honest, it would be easy for me to stay with City Year and become a Service Leader. I know that I could definitely do what is required. City Year would also provide me with a way to affect positive social change which has become something so huge in my desires to accomplish.

I talked a bit about that with my friends when I went back home to Missouri and it's interesting to compare the person I was and the person I am now. Especially in regards to getting things done. I want people to be accepted regardless of superficial differences and I absolutely understand that people like me can make this happen. I'm torn, between either enjoying the world as it is or really making an effort to change it.

Like I wrote earlier, we'll see. I definitely need to sleep on things and see which way I want to go and which way is best for me to go. In either case, both will present challenges and both are going to be new starts to a lot of things.

Foot Prints

Have you ever heard the quote "People walk in and out of your life all the time. There are some people, however, who leave footprints all over your heart."

Probably not because I can't for the life of me remember exactly how the quote goes. The first time I read it, I thought that it was something sappy about being touched by someone else who is no longer a part of your life. Now, after having written it out, I feel like it might also be taken as meaning someone walking over someone else.

I'm here to write about the former. I don't want this to really come off as regretful or sad, only gratefully reflective.

This weekend, I had the amazing opportunity to go back to Kirksville. Kirksville was the center of so much for me for so long. I spent five years of my life in this town changing from one person to the next while also experiencing college. My undergraduate career was chock full of revelations, expansions, sorrows, joys, ups, downs, ... this list of descriptives could go on forever. However, I feel that this is very true for almost every individual.

My fraternity had its annual alumni weekend this weekend and I was actually able to afford to go. After I bought my tickets back to Missouri I was totally deeper in the poor house than ever before, but, I survived and was able to see people who I had not seen in a very long time.

One of my biggest inner concerns was actually seeing these people. You have to understand some things about me and Kirksville. In this town, I had a lot of friends. More than I knew how to handle and could please. Yet, in pretty much 98% of the relationships, I was in control and could dictate whatever happened and when things happened. It's difficult leaving an environment that caters so much to you. Especially coming to a city like Seattle that has no idea who you are and definitely does not care. I was worried that returning to Kirksville would wake back up everything I had left behind and that I would get stuck into the life I had pushed myself out of when I left Missouri for Washington.

I really should not have worried. By the end of Friday, at the karaoke party, I realized how much I missed the Seattle scene and being tied to and associated with something larger than partying in a small town that no one has ever heard of. It sounds a bit selfish, but everything was the same. Nothing has changed. People are still drunkards and there's still drama leaking out of everything. There were people who actively ignored me. People who used to talk to me. Yeah, we may not have been the greatest of friends, but there was never ignoring involved. Personality wise, if you ignore me, I will ignore you back. Simple fact.

The point of the weekend wasn't the haters anyways. The focus was seeing the people I loved. Those who really have left footprints on my heart and impressions in my soul. They absolutely know who they are. They also know that although my ass is way out here, I'm not going anywhere as far as friendships are concerned. They just need to get their asses out to Seattle to visit my poor ass.

I also got the chance to finally talk face to face with my ex (we broke up via phone last summer and have not seen this ex since). As far as relationships have gone for me, this one was one of the most influential. He and I finally got to lay to rest some things that had been going on for both of us and finalize who and what the two of us are to each other. Closure is a double edged sword. It's both relieving and saddening. However, this guy is amazing and will definitely always be someone that I will look up to. He absolutely deserves everything good out of life.

I left Kirksville knowing that those friends that I had made there, and actually called my friends,
will always be my friends. No matter what. I also left knowing that I was completely free of some ties to that town.

The closer I got to Seattle the happier and more excited I was. Seattle is where I am supposed to be now. Everything always happens for a reason and happens the way it is supposed to happen. I am where I am because I am supposed to be. Everyone I meet now, I am supposed to meet. The lessons they have to teach me are critical in some manner; I only need to recognize what that lesson is.

That also being said: I will not settle. I will not chase. I will not hold someone else up through life. I know exactly what I want out of someone to spend the rest of my life with and if the people I meet don't fit those requirements, then, romantically, there is no point in pursuance. I feel like my new found self-control and increased confidence is only going to aid me in the completion of these goals.

I will not fail because it's simply something I do not do. I do not have time for people who are actively trying to hold me back or put me down.

The entire world is still out there for the experiencing. I'll be damned if I will let this short life of mine be mediocre.

Cheers.

State of Washington Milestone

Someone I work with just passed me a SGN (Seattle Gay News) and the front cover was an article about the Governor of Washing (Christine Gregoire) signing a bill into law allowing for Domestic Partnership in the state of Washington. This adds over 170 rights to same sex couples and is second only to states like California, Connecticut, New Jersey, New Hampshire, Vermont, and Oregon in rights available to same sex couples.

Sounds like positive progress to me!

(And another reason to never go home)

A New (or Old) Way of Communicating

Yeah, I'm drunk. I'm writing this post while intoxicated before I head out on the town in Seattle.

Does this reflect positively on me? Probably not. Most people I know think I'm an alcoholic although my drinking is very controlled these days (those who who knew me in college are going to be a bit surprised while those that know me know would be appalled to see who I was in college). This is just me, just who I am.

There is this quote that I heard, I believe from Scott Woods although he got it from someone else, that says "Everyday I wake up with the desire the change the world and the desire to simply sit back and enjoy its majesty." Or something like that. I don't really know and don't really care about the exact wordage right now. However, I struggle with something like this everyday. It's simply a part of my job. Where I work, I struggle with trying to accomplish things as well as allowing the culture that has been cultivated to flourish and show itself.

Everyday I put together something for the kids I work with. I love all of them with all of my heart. I think I've always been a softy with a bit of a trouble maker side. All I want for all of them is the best out of life and somehow, through my twisted mind, I feel like I know what that is and I can direct them to the "correct" path. I don't really know where this paragraph (or, fuck, this entire post, is going) but whatever. We've had some of our students quit the program recently and it has been

...

The above was as far as I got before I was too drunk to continue. I can only assume that I forgot about what I was writing and decided going out was more important.

We have had some students quit lately. Part of that is because of outside influences. Actually, the majority of their reasons for quitting are because of outside reasons. Parents are no longer able to commit to bringing their kids every Saturday. Some have joined sports teams. Some have decided that they would rather sleep in and watch cartoons.

Who knows. All I can say is that our enrollment is down and our team is spread too thin among everything we have to do to really focus on remedying this.

Last week (the week before the Saturday night that I started writing this drunken post) was hell. We had an event Thursday night called Heroes Showcase to plan, a service day on Saturday called Roots of Poverty, meeting with our nationals representative, and I also had to continue planning for my last committee responsibility Dreams for Rainier Beach High School on Friday. I was also asked to help out with an event on Wednesday night and represent City Year at a GSBA dinner. However, my Dreams lead wouldn't let me go. I had to stay at the office and go over absolutely everything in preparation for Dreams on Friday.

If this is grownup life, I am not a fan.

On a good note, I have a job interview this Friday with a child development program here in Seattle. I am so glad that I have at least taken the time to line something else up for post-City Year. At least it makes it that much more real that I will not be doing City Year again and that there are other options outside of CY.

Soccer has been going better than ever and I've made a ton of improvements to my game. One noticeable thing is my tendency to play offense. I was always a defender when I was younger but now, I love playing forward and mid-field. I was never really given the option of playing up back in the day and now I am kind of wondering why not. Well, I probably know the reason, I'm in a lot better shape now than when I was younger, even when I was in high school. I absolutely love this game. I so wish I had been good enough to play this sport professionally! haha

Next week I am going back to Missouri for my fraternity's alumni weekend and I am absolutely stoked. Shit, I already have an outfit for it as well. I can't wait to see everyone and crash our old haunts again.

Last Saturday was crazy. I went out with Art and we hit up his old favorites Madison Pub, Cuff, and Neighbors (okay, well, Neighbors isn't one of his favorite places - but we did have a hot dog from a vendor right afterwards, which he loved). I saw people I knew at each place we went to so I felt a bit like a big deal. Although, at Neighbors, the two individuals I saw were Brady and Mario. Neither of whom talk to me anymore. I avoided both of them while there and am pretty sure they never saw me. Well, that's a lie. One of the guys in Brady's group was pointing my direction and that could have lead Brady to see me. I was successful in avoiding contact and convinced Art to leave shortly afterwards. I realized sometime that night how comfortable I was with Art, both intoxicated and not so much intoxicated. I seem to compare a lot of the guys I meet with him. Which is weird. I am way more comfortable around him than I was even with Michael and I spent more time with Michael than I did with Art during that time in my life. Art is the first guy I met here outside of City Year and most definitely the first one I have liked. I think that originally, we did not advance because of me and now the two of us are so busy and on to different things and different people that we won't be able to be anything but friends. It's a bit sad, hah, because he's an awesome guy. Guess that's what I get right? Karma!

The night that I started writing this post, I was admittedly drunk before I went out. I was going to see if I could brave the Cuff on my own but chickened out as soon as I got to Capitol Hill. I went to Rplace (an old favorite of mine) on my own. I have done this before, but I normally don't like to be on my own in places like this. I felt pretty comfortable, however, and I didn't get wasted, which was a huge bonus (and boost to my personal goals). I noticed that some guys near where I was hanging out kept watching me and I was absolutely not attracted to any of them. I refused to make eye contact and put on my best "I dare you to try and approach me"-look. I think it worked, because they never did. Eventually, some guy came me and this group pounced on him. Apparently, some of them work with him and already knew him. I was, however, attracted to him. They talked with him a bit and then he came over to me and introduced himself.

I spent the rest of the night talking to this guy (named Kris) and had a really good time. We danced to one song, talk some more, and then left. He was too drunk to drive so we went to his friend's place and crashed on a couch. I spent the next morning with him and his friend. We went to breakfast and then home. I also went to his house and stayed over Sunday night as well. I like the guy quite a bit and am definitely down for seeing where things go with him. I make it clear that I am only interested in dating these days and possibly starting a relationship; he shares that aspect as well. I'm not going to let my introvertedness screw another thing up for me. This one, I am going to try hard to just be me right off the bat.

I'll let you know how that goes.

On Being Gay:

I have always prided myself on being unidentifiable as a gay man. That I appear straight and that I act straight. That my gayness is not something you would be able to stereotype me with.

I have always looked down on typical gay guys. I have been discriminating towards people exactly like me. Exactly like me in their lifestyle if not in personality and action. I have looked down on feminism in men and despised any type of flamboyant behavior.

Lately, I have been trying to figure out why. Why are there pride bracelets? Why are there pride parades? It's true that I definitely do not think these things should have to be here. However, they are, and that has finally made it past my walls to get me to wonder why. Why are things like this around?

It's because they have to be. People who are not universally accepted feel a need to be steadfast in the face of oppression. Pride bracelets, emblems, shirts, parades, bumper stickers, necklaces, rings, window decals, etc. are all here because they need to be. An entire community of people are still being limited and oppressed. This community has the right and the privilege to stand up for themselves. If standing up for yourself can be done as peacefully as this, who has any right to be like me and look derisively upon these items or actions? No one has that right.

How wrong I have been

I'm buying a damn pride bracelet.

On Racism:

This same point of view needs to be something adopted by the Caucasian community as it stands in the United States. It's no lie that a lot of what people consider racism extends primarily to "white" people (classification based on colors is completely stupid - I am not white, thanks). Many Caucasian Americans do not see the need for programs, scholarships, and other incentives for people who are considered minorities. The simple fact is that these things do need to exist because there are still old traditionally inept individuals who haven't received the memo that racism and racist behaviors are things of the past. Or, at least they should be. Caucasian people have no difficulties in job placements (hah, except at City Year! sorry Caucasian females!) or school advancement. The Caucasian community tends to protect its own above all others and severely limits the opportunities for individuals of other ethnic backgrounds.

The first step is always self awareness.

"I am not my hair, I am not this skin, I am the soul that lives within." - India Arie

Notifications

So, this week has been going pretty much like normal. Working a lot and attempting to stay positive about things. I've been successful, pretty much, about staying positive towards how much I work and how very little free time I have. We've even been able to get ahead as far as Saturday Service Learning planning. That alone is a huge improvement.

Tonight on the bus ride home, I think I slept (or passed out) for a minute or two (I am so freaking tired all the time!) and when I woke up, my eyes were immediately drawn to a man and woman sitting across from me. I had noticed when the two had both sat there and was pretty sure that they were not together. However, the man's hand was right up next to the woman's butt and it looked like he had one of his fingers in her back pocket. I immediately thought that my first observation was wrong (I am a pretty observant fella when I'm not drunk). I didn't really pay it any mind until the woman got up, alone, and moved to an open seat towards the front of the bus.

Then things started to click: this man was actually being a butt head. A real live butt head sitting right across from me!

I thought: "Wow, so this is one of those men that gives the rest of us bad reputations."

He compounded the issue when he gathered up this obnoxious suitcase (it was freaking unzipped, mind you, on a metro bus) and slid over into her old seat. I was like "Is he really going to do what I think he's going to do?"

Yes, he was. He got up when the bus started moving again (this is two stops after the woman has moved) and sat right next to her in the front. The look she gave him was priceless. She wasted absolutely no time in moving back into her old seat directly across from me (if you are not familiar with buses, there are some seats that run along the bus where the passengers face one another and have their knees towards the isle - this is where we were sitting on our bus). The man stayed where she left him the second time, thankfully, but he totally succeeded in turning her off.

Here's your notification, fella: You, sir, are a douche bag.

Another interesting thing happened today. I called my mom to tell her some good news and during the conversation she accidentally let it slip that my brother, Jake, is getting married. Apparently he asked his current girlfriend (now his fiance?) to marry him over Christmas. She only found out a week ago when he needed to get some information from her (how to spell her ridiculously Polish maiden name) and did so via email.

What the fuck? Is that how you tell your mom that you're getting married? I know that our mom hasn't particularly been around for most of our lives, but we were raised to be better than that. We were fucking raised to be gentlemen (yeah I know, I fail, but he didn't until this shit).

Then I realized... this fucker hadn't even told me! I'm his damn brother! The ONLY person on this planet with almost the exact same DNA as his shitty ass, the ONLY person on this planet who put with him for the entire time he's been alive, and the ONLY person who knows exactly what kind of life he has lived.

What the fuck?

I haven't seriously talked to Jake since I came to Seattle. I've called, numerous times, once even got to talk to him only to find out that he only wanted to get our mom's information from me. He promptly hung up afterwards. Then, another time, I talked to him for all of five minutes until he said he was going to hang up so he can call his girlfriend. That's only listing the two times I've had a conversation with Jake since I moved here in August. There are also many other times where I called and never received a call back.

So, I gave up. His ass can call me. One thing that you need to know about me is that I'm not a chaser. I don't go after people after a certain amount of effort. If they are not willing to respond back in kind, or at least show interest, then I stop putting forth the effort. I tried hard with Jake because he's my damn brother. The only sibling of five that I am really really close to.

I called my dad to find out how long he's known. Apparently, he knew way back before Christmas even that the two of them were talking about getting married. And he also knew when she said yes. What the hell!? Am I crazy!? Is this normal!? How the fuck can you keep something like this a secret?

My own damn brother is getting married and NO ONE WANTS TO TELL ME!

Jake, here's your notification: You, brother, have just become a douche bag as well.

On a lighter note: I got some great news while at work today.

There is an event coming up for City Year called Ripples of Hope. It's a gala type of event; basically, a really big deal. All of the corps members have certain roles to play during this event but none of us really knew about there being important roles as well. I signed up for networking and to be placed at one of the dinner tables to keep guests company.

This event is supposed to be huge and I didn't want to miss a chance to get my name out there. Screw not knowing these people, I was going to whore myself out socially.

However, I may not really get a decision in this.

My boss comes up to me today and asks if he can speak to me. I think I'm in trouble again, but go along with it. He tells me that me and another corps member (I'm not sure if she knows yet, so I am not going to put her name on here) have been selected to present an award to a pretty well known individual.

The Bill Gates Foundation has a done a lot of terrific things. So terrific, that I am not even really sure what they are! But, it looks like I'm going to have to find out since I, and this other corps member, will be presenting the award to the current presidents of this organization Bill and Minnie Gates (the dad and stepmother of the famously rich Bill Gates). That means, she and I will be standing up on stage with these two while a whole array of guest speakers talk about them and then we will thank them, present them with awards and CY jackets, and pose in pictures with them. Wow. What's more is that she and I will also be sitting at their table for the dinner and engaging everyone in conversation for the night. Holy shit. Here's me, barely making it paycheck to paycheck suddenly being seated with and conversing with people who could buy a billion people like me. Much less totally trump all of the good I've done with the tremendous amounts of positive changed they've affected. Talk about overwhelming.

But that's not it.

After letting a bit of that settle in, my boss opens up a folder and inside there is a picture of me with my first name next to it and a quote about why I serve that I had written awhile ago.

I am the new freaking poster boy for City Year...!

Or, at least, City Year Seattle/King County.

How do things like this happen? Why was I chosen? The kids are the only thing that keep me going, not the organization, yet here I am, about to have my face plastered on a poster with something mushy written next to it. I am amazed.

And I will admit, I almost cried when I found out.

Here's my notification: You, Josh, have got a lot more work to do before you can die.

Adios.

My kids

God, I love them.

And since none of them will ever have access to this blog, I can name my favorites!

Jorge and Gustavo are probably my favorite two. These two little guys I just want to flat out adopt. Fuckin right, they are amazing.

RJ has been one of my favorites since the beginning. This dude is going to be like the president or something someday. He is so great, I swear to you.

My Linh is also a shit ton of fun. She's like the perfect girl, I kid you not.

Tanner is pretty cool too. He gets picked on all the time, but if any of those other kids would just get to know him, they would be amazed at what he knows and what his aspirations are.

Darby is fuckin amazing too. This kid is hilarious and should have been born when I was so we could have been best friends. Hands down.

Bailey is awesome too. I am telling you now that she is going to be some kick ass runner for the USA Olympic team someday.

I love my kids.

I love how they can make everything so bright and shiny.