Back Into Things

Last Week
Last week when I got back from Missouri I jumped straight into City Year. Not City Year in the traditional sense, or at least the City Year that I am used to, but instead, City Year in the Camps City Year Version.

Every year, or so I'm told, City Year puts on an entire week long camp for elementary students from Seattle during their spring break. The week provides curriculum, activities, snacks, and a safe place for a lot Seattle's younger students. When I was coming back I thought that I would have that following Monday off of work. However, I ran entire the Executive Director, Gayatri, of City Year on the plane from Minneapolis to Seattle. She brought me the sad news about starting ASAP on Monday morning.

However, Camps was much more than I was anticipating. I was put in charge of facilitating recreation for 3rd through 5th grade students at Camps. Everything was already planned out. All I had to do was make sure I knew what I was doing, that I knew what the students were supposed to be learning during each exercise, and also that I was available when the team leaders in charge of the students needed to have some alone time.

I loved Camps. I loved how different it was from the normal grind of Young Heroes. I liked that I got to spend 4 out of 5 days of Camps outside in the sun and to be active and doing things I considered to be fun.

I got to meet a ton of really cool young people. My favorite of all of the students, however (I totally am not supposed to have favorites - but I do!), was this little 3rd grade boy named Andreas. He was hilarious. He couldn't speak English very well as it was his second language to Spanish but that didn't take away from his funny factor. Tuesday I was leaving by bus from Camps and he and his family happened to be on the same bus. He was sitting more towards the front and would keep looking back and smiling really big at me. I was just smiling back at the beginning but then I decided that I would make faces instead. Andreas just copied the faces I made and would then start laughing hysterically. For the rest of the week he was pretty inseparable from me whenever his team (the Wondrous Wizards) were near by. When he found out that I am on a soccer team he invited me to come watch the "Mexican Team" play soccer but didn't know where or when.

He was definitely one of the highlights of my week with Camps and although now I am sure that Andreas, along with the rest of the students, no longer know who I am, hopefully we made enough of an impact to get them to come back for Camps next year and be in another safe learning environment.

We got a surprise from our boss on the last day of Camps. We were going to have Monday off. And that was without having to work on Saturday! I somehow ended up having a three day weekend without having to work either job! And I would get to play soccer on Sunday! Uhhh, can there be anything more perfect?


The Weekend
I went out that Friday night with some of the girls I work with to a straight bar called Toi in Belltown. This group always has fun when together so the night began pretty great. The girls like to go to this place called Belltown Billiards to end their night. It's a club that involves a lot of straight drunk people getting naughty. I have been there before with them but have always ended up acting as the protector from guys that hit on the girls who the girls don't want to talk to. I think one night I ended being the "boyfriend" of every girl I came with.

What can I say? I'm good at what I do and I get around.

Haha!

Needless to say, I don't really enjoy going to that place. So, if I start the night with these chicas, I typically go my own way when they are ready to head to the good ol' Belltown Billiards. This night, I was determined to go to one of my favorite places in Seattle, Rplace. I love that there is a gay club that actually plays hip hop and not just house or techno. When I went up to the very top floor, I ran into my ex's roommate and my ex's old roommate. These two guys are pretty good friends and are almost always together. Luckily, they both like me, so I wasn't really alone if I didn't want to be.

What these guys failed to tell me, though, was that my ex, Michael, came with them. And one of Michael's other ex's before me. Haha, how funny that conversation went. Michael was trashed, and because of that, was pretty nice and civil - and honest. He kept saying how big of a douche bag he was and how dumb he was. I agreed with all of it and let him know a bit about what I thought about him ditching me the day after Christmas (start playing "Last Christmas" by George Michaels now). He also told me how he made his current guy go out of town for the weekend so he could hang out with his friends and whoever else he wanted to. And that this guy is really annoying. Ugh, people who really like other people and want to be in a relationship with them do not treat others this way. I told Michael that and before he could respond, some drag queen came over and Michael started flirting with her. Or whatever it is he does. I spent the rest of the time they were there talking to Michael's other ex about school and about just turning 21. That group didn't stay much longer though and I was left on my own, just like how I came to Rplace.

It wasn't much longer, though, that I noticed a guy near me dancing with a girl and that the occasional glance came my direction. Eventually the girl approached me and I knew right away that she was trying to soften me up for the guy. She asked me to dance, which is something I love to do and I know that I am alright at doing. Some time while we were dancing the guy started dancing with us and the girl moved out of the way - haha! The guy's name is Patrick (I know you're reading this, haha) and the girl is Alysse. They also came with Patrick's best friend, Toby. After a bit, Toby and Alysse left. Patrick wanted to stay with me and Alysse made me promise to take care of him. I did promise, of course, and I meant it.

I spent a lot of the rest of the weekend with Patrick, Toby, and Alysse, and had a lot of fun doing so. He's coming back up this weekend and I'm pretty excited. I dunno, I don't want to jinx anything, but he's a pretty cool guy. I have a tendency to fall pretty fast and I often set myself up to be burned. I really hope that this isn't the case here.

Since I know he reads this, how embarrassed am I going to be the next time I talk to him? Hahaha. But I guess that's what these types of things are for - getting it all out there.


Changes
My boss took me aside today and sat me down to talk about staying with City Year for another year. He was wanting to talk to me about becoming a Service Leader for City Year for 2008-2009.

This is a point of contention with me. I absolutely love my kids and I absolutely love being with them whenever I get the opportunity, however, I have a lot of problems with the organization as a whole and some of its "culture".

Inclusiveness is not empowered by conformity. Inclusiveness and acceptance are two main focal points for City Year. However, a lot of what we do has to be done or to look a certain way every time. Conforming individuals is not a way to create an environment that accepts everyone. In fact, I would say that conformity breeds exclusion.

There is also absolutely no system set in place for change. One of the facts of life I learned from college is this: "Tradition is the enemy. To be in an environment without constant change is to be stagnant." There needs to be something set in place for corps members and outside volunteers to affect growth and change. City Year is too uniform and it grates on many individuals who identify heavily with their own individualism.

I am also sure that my frustrations with my experience have been partially team based and influenced from outside as well.

We'll see. To be honest, it would be easy for me to stay with City Year and become a Service Leader. I know that I could definitely do what is required. City Year would also provide me with a way to affect positive social change which has become something so huge in my desires to accomplish.

I talked a bit about that with my friends when I went back home to Missouri and it's interesting to compare the person I was and the person I am now. Especially in regards to getting things done. I want people to be accepted regardless of superficial differences and I absolutely understand that people like me can make this happen. I'm torn, between either enjoying the world as it is or really making an effort to change it.

Like I wrote earlier, we'll see. I definitely need to sleep on things and see which way I want to go and which way is best for me to go. In either case, both will present challenges and both are going to be new starts to a lot of things.