Cool, not

Holy shit, I haven't posted on here since October 20th. What a slacker I am.

I've been busy. Yeah, I know, easy excuse but it really is the truth. Like I have already mentioned, I work a lot for City Year. This job definitely keeps me busy (which has been surprisingly good for me) and only seems to be getting busier.

Tomorrow will be the culmination of one of the projects my team has been working on for a week now. It is something called a Community Meeting and we are the first team out of the entire corps to host our own Community Meeting. Our theme is going to be Superheroes. Each of us picked two sets of superheroes as table decals and coloring pages for the members to play with while we are meeting and I picked The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and The Power Rangers (original five, thanks). Through some sick twist of fate, only us team members will be allowed to dress up as superheroes for this meeting. I decided upon dressing up as Super Kewpie. My high school mascot was a Kewpie and as such, I will be going as... basically a naked baby. We'll see how that goes over. No one else in the corps is allowed to dress up because of some issues in the past with "unprofessional" costumes. Yeah, that's what I thought too: W.T.F. mate? In any case, I will be hitting it hard as will the rest of my teammates.

I also, somehow, accidentally volunteered myself to do my Life Works during our Community Meeting. I'm going to be the first regular corps member to do their Life Works and although I know all of the material by heart (it is all about me, after all) I am a bit nervous. I've never been a fan of public speaking and this is going to test my comfort zone a little bit. Especially since the entire thing will be me talking about me and exposing myself to a lot of people. Which is also something I don't like to do. Really, everyone, or almost everyone, has heard the biggest controversies that make me who I am so the rest of the Life Works will seem kind of bland. At least I think it will, I can only really speak for myself. While working on this project, I went through a ton of pictures. Mainly pictures off of facebook and myspace as I don't have much here in Seattle as far as tangible pictures of friends and family. Wow, that was probably a mistake. Going back through years of pictures and memories hit me pretty hard. I went to bed a few nights ago completely down and wondering what the fuck I was doing in Seattle when everyone I cared about was somewhere else. I kept thinking: "We had so much fun. Is that gone? Can I bring that back?" There are tons of people I miss but most of them are no longer in Kirksville or Columbia, the only two places I really know in the Midwest. As far as Columbia, only my family is there that I actually think about or miss at all; and David and Abbie, of course. Kirksville... geez, there are a few people there who I can't believe I don't see anymore, but a lot of people that I'm glad I don't see anymore. And that's being honest, you know me if you are reading this, so you know how I am about honesty. Everyone else has moved away and is continuing with their own lives. I think that's one of the things that kept me strong through my little break down (stupid, I know) was knowing that everyone else had plans and was acting on them. I know that what I am doing in Seattle is bigger and more meaningful than myself so in my heart, I know that it is a good thing. I want to be an example for those I am not around anymore. Plus, I am not a quitter. I will finish City Year and do what is meant to be afterwards. If it's staying here, cool, if not, that's cool too.

We finally got moved into Meany Middle School. Now I can say I actually tutor and mentor middle school students instead of just "engage" and do service with them. I was assigned to two different classrooms, a reading and writing class and a science class. Both classes have 8th graders in them. For some reason, I like being around the 8th graders the most - I like their personalities and their minds. They are so cool.

Other work projects are still ongoing. My Substance Abuse LDD is coming along and will be presented at the end of this month. It's finally all coming together and looks great. My Dreams Committee is just starting its business and I am still not sure what will be involved with it. As far as Team Leader recruitment goes... that's a bit rough. I haven't had much luck lately, but I'm still trudging through everything. I was able to talk to the guy in L.A. who has my same position and he had some really good ideas to use.

I got a second job as well. It's at the GAP and I am now working in the Men's department as a salesman. I have very little retail experience, but I can make this happen. This is a very good opportunity for me as it will give me some income flow outside of City Year as well get me into situations where I can meet more people in Seattle. I'm pretty excited about it. And yeah, some of that is probably because I was able to get some much needed new clothes.

However, as a side effect to getting that second job, I will not be able to go visit my mom for Thanksgiving or to visit my dad for Christmas. That is going to blow pretty hard. I'm not going to be the only person here that I know, however, so I will at least be able to do little things while still in Seattle. I will, however, still be able to go back to Columbia for Ashley's wedding in December. I will only be in Columbia Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night (Saturday being the wedding on the 15th) so I plan on making some rounds while I am there. I am pretty sure (although I haven't checked yet) that Truman will be out for Christmas break, so I don't think I will be going up to Kirksville. But I can still do a lot of things in Columbia that will be fun. I would like to go back to Soco just to get that experience again. Maybe compare it a bit to Seattle's nightlife. As well as to hang out with the fam and anyone else I know who is in Columbia at that time (Abbie, David, your asses better be ready to do something - we are not old yet).

My soccer team has been going great and my toes are healing up nicely. I have even joined a running club of City Year employees. The hills here are a whole new experience to the predominantly flat Missouri. They are hard, but I push myself through them and get it done like I normally do. My ipod has become one of my greatest allies here. It and I run a lot of Beacon Hill everyday. Whenever I am at work, I look forward to getting off and being able to run my route on Beacon Hill. I used to hate running, now, that's changed for some reason. I think I blame Dan. That little fucker must have rubbed off on me before we both left Truman. Or, I just keep it as a way to remember him and everyone else.

I've noticed lately that my attitudes and personality has taken a bit of a slip back towards the old Josh. The Josh that was while I was finishing college. Opinionated, stubborn, and fiercely independent. I like that Josh and I'm glad that he's back and the one that arose when I came out here is going away. My heart is made of ice.

I've made the plans and am definitely sure that I will be going back for the next Alumni weekend with Phi Sigma Pi. It will be fun to be on the outside looking in and I am sure that if I go, I can convince other old people to come with me. We can show these new kids what partying is like. None of this stupid shit I am reading about on facebook. Yeah, I facebook-stalk. It's easy and informative. Along with that, a bit, I checked out something out of curiosity and it turns out that someone still harbors some ill feelings towards me. Yeah, you need to find something else to think about. Really. The whole turning me into the bad guy thing is getting very old.

Speaking of thinking about! Last week we had this training called UIR. Or, Undoing Institutionalized Racism. The seminar was abrasive to the max. I took pages worth of notes and am in the process of putting together something cohesive and typed out about the entire experience. I think I'm going to put it up on here, or maybe not. I don't know how long it will be, but I am sure that it is going to be a lot longer than I had originally thought. Plus, I still need to think it all out and by writing about it, I hope to accomplish that. Racism. What a delicate subject.

It's late. For me, at least, since I have get up in time to bus from Beacon Hill to downtown. Plus, I'm 24 now, have been since October 23rd. Does that make me sound old?