Don't get it twisted

I'm not normally the type of person who falls in love with television shows. Well, with the exception of South Park and Family Guy (I absolutely idolize Cartman and Stewie). Recently, I've got into shows like Parks and Rec. Their new season began this past Thursday and during the episode (stop reading here if you don't want to be spoiled) features our blond protagonist accidentally marrying two gay pengins. A representative of a group, who I don't think ever really identifies as being religious or conservative, meets with her and requests her resignation citing that she showed support for gay marriage and her job requires her to remain non-political.

Now, I had been drinking with Brandon while watching our shows so admittedly I am less patient in every way, however, the message the representative was spewing out of her face infuriated me. I know the show is fake but the scenerio was life-like that I couldn't help but unleash the rage.

After telling my dad "I'm at least bi" (what a joke, right?) he would later say "I just don't understand it" so here's what I'm saying now: I just don't understand why gays can't get married. Or at least, for Christ's sake, be allowed civil unions that offer the exact same benefits of marriage (since apparently gays using that word is taboo).

There is no argument that has any weight to it. Homosexuals marrying will destroy the family system? Oh, wait, straight couples like Phillip and Nancy Garrido have that shit on lockdown. Oops, did straight people with varying viewpoints wanted a viewpoint that's not confrontational? Go here, Seattle Weekly, they are much more eloquent and NICER than I ever will be.

Sometimes, proponents for homosexual equality (no taxation without equal representation anyone? or does that only apply to religious majorities?) hear the argument "If we allow gay marriage then what will be next? Where will the line be drawn? Could someone marry their guinea pig then?!"

Are you fuckin shitting me?

There is a huge ocean worth's difference between two CONSENTING adults marrying than... say... a man marrying his guinea pig that can only occasionally speak high-guinea-pigish. Fucktards.

I wonder what would happen if homosexuals stopped paying taxes? Could such a thing even be put into action? Probably not, we're not that organized, but there would be some action then, wouldn't there?

If I have to see another soccer mom from Columbia, Missouri babbling about what's morally acceptable again I'm going to contaminate her fuckin tampon with rat poison while singing praises to my obvious master and lord, Satan, only to prove that yes, every fuckin gay person is the epitome of evil intentions and corruption. Bitches.

Am I jaded? Yes. Am I way the fuck out there on this? Yep. Am I determined to hammer home the point of equality? You better fuckin believe it.