There are always two sides to absolutely everything. City Year, a non-profit organization that does amazing things for both corps members and kids is also an organization that has internal difficulties. Things that I know are bothering me and a few other people that I work with.
I sent out a pretty extensive email yesterday morning to all of the service leaders and some of the corps members that I genuinely wanted to hear what their opinion was. Below is a copy of the email I sent. I think that it pretty much sums up my feelings regarding City Year in general at the moment and since City Year is consuming my life these days, this email will help portray my current state of mind.
The responses I have received far have ranged from anywhere from complete support to complete disagreement.
Here it is, feel free to give your own feedback if you have any or if you want to say anything at all:
Hey Folks,
I am emailing you because basically I am having a lot of problems justifying not doing City Year for a second year. I would only come back as a Service Leader to Seattle and work with Young Heroes. Other options are really not attractive to me (well, that's a lie, I think I would like Clanci's role). However, I am also ready to move on with my life (I'm freaking 24!).
I have been talking with people a bit and have generated a long list of questions or rambles or whatever you want to call them.
I am emailing you (everyone has been BC-ed) because I am genuinely interested in your opinion regarding an answer to any or all of these inquiries. You really don't have to, but you might be helping me out if you can answer at least some of them. Also, I think it would be hecka hard to talk to everyone in person and still stay on topic.
I honestly don't care about nice-ness. Please be as blunt and honest in your opinion as possible. I also realize that some of you have never been a corps member and I know which of you this applies to but feel free to mark that in any case.
1) How does students loans work with being a Service Leader? I know that right now I receive some sort of deferment with my loans but I still accrue interest because I am not serving a full year. Does this change with the responsibilities of being a Service Leader?
2) Does being a SL give you the chance to cause change? Are your voices heard? Are you listened to by the leadership in CY? Are any actions taken to alleviate concerns of SLs? Have you ever tried to affect change? I knew people in college who left my fraternity because they didn't agree with certain aspects. I never understood why they didn't want to stay and make things different just by being vocal. I am not sure if by not coming back that I would be doing what they are doing. That also being said, are there any systems set in place that allow us to cause change? Right now, I feel like there isn't.
3) If this applies to you, why aren't you coming back as a SL?
4) If this applies to you, why are you coming back?
5) I have used this statement a bit: "Everything I like about City Year I can gain from being a volunteer with Young Heroes on Saturdays." Is this viable if I don't necessarily agree with other aspects of the organization? I love my kids, but I don't really love the day to day stuff.
6) What do you want done differently?
7) Did you experience any personal growth during your term with City Year? Do you think this was a result from being in City Year or was it a coincidence that you also happened to be in City Year at the same time?
8) As far as SL goes, how much difference is there between that and being a CM?
9) If you are not coming back or are completing your maximum amount of years with AmeriCorps, are you planning on staying affiliated with City Year in some way?
10) Gayatri made a statement after Ripples of Hope that really struck a cord with me: "I have never been more of proud of all of you than I am right now." Yeah, we as a corps rocked out at RoH and I definitely understand the necessity to gain sponsors and money for our organization, yet that is secondary to the service. Why isn't service our highest value? Why isn't our leadership (I understand that this is a generalization and that is intended) most proud of us when we are coaching a student through a tough paragraph or teaching a new way to look at a math problem? Why does it seem like the white collar part of City Year valued more than working in the actual trenches?
11) Also during Ripples of Hope, changes were made to certain parts of the PT routine and that's fine. The delivery of the changes was my problem. In the very beginning of City Year we had to do workshops and practice (remember with Cecil?) how to speak to other people without causing conflict. I understand completely that pre-RoH was stressful and that people make mistakes, however, accusatory tones and words were used in presenting changes to the entire corps regarding certain things that were completely unacceptable. Being in a position of leadership comes with added responsibilities. Part of that is treating the people who work with you and under you with respect. How do you feel about the general vibe of corps member treatment within City Year?
12) Something that Charlie spoke of at his little shindig on Friday was that City Year provides experience and growth for both the corps member and the students that corps member works with. Tackling both at the same time is obviously difficult. Should City Year focus on one? Should that be service? Or are all of the other requirements outside of service for the corps members necessary?
13) It appears, at least to me, that sometimes some issues within City Year are more focused on than others. I could also just be biased. We spent a lot of time focusing in on racism above all other issues. So much that the topic was not even something that the average corps member was involved with (the City Heroes and Young Heroes teams do their own curriculum on racism). Where was the unit on homosexuality? Why was so much of our energy spent on racism when domestic violence, substance abuse, hunger and homelessness, etc., are all equally important and equally crippling to parts of this nation?
14) What's the point to Legacy Binders if we never look at them? My team has never been presented with our Legacy Binder from last year. Uh? Why are we making the same mistakes that past teams have made? And then being told that we are making these sames mistakes after the fact? Has this been something other teams have experienced (for whoever this applies to)?
15) Who's officially left City Year? There seems to be a corps member turnover that is glossed over or kept in silence. I know who is no longer in City Year but what happened with letting the rest of us know? Are we not in a position to know? It seems like somewhere between the questions "Who's gone?" and "Who's officially gone?" that the memo of telling everyone else gets lost.
16) What do you think or feel about some sites moving to different locations next year? What do you think will be difficult in this transition?
17) Is it possible to give back outside of City Year? My program manager said that I will be losing out on this opportunity if I don't come back next year. In a sense, this is true as I will be too old to come back if I don't return next year. I absolutely am not done with affecting change societally. Do you think it's viable to cause change outside of an organization that is so directly involved with making things happen?
18) Is it okay to trust the system with the students I work with now? They were okay before me, will they still be okay after me?
I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and for all of my life, things have become clear in one direction or another. However, with this, I am so completely stuck in limbo. It's like I need to stop being so fate driven and need to start taking my own direction it sucks.
I know this is hecka long, so feel free in taking your time.
Or deleting the entire email.
Later,
Josh
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