This is rediculous. Somehow I got caught up in some tangled webs of drama and I have no idea how it happened.
Here's what I do:
Whenever I go out, my intentions are to have fun. Period. That's it. If I am not having fun, I cancel and do something else (ask my friends, I would sneak away quite a bit only to turn up drunk somewhere else).
Somehow, last night I ended up being on the receiving end of some blunt statements. Haha. All I was doing was drinking with a friend at a club and somehow there was some moment where I pissed people off. They started taking digs at me over the phone to my friend. Uhh, hi pussies.
I don't know what was involved or the reason behind it. I am assuming they thought we were together and wanted my friend to be with them instead of me. Haha, lame.
Why's there always gotta be drama?
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Sunday, June 17, 2007
There it goes
A little piece of my heart is going back to NYC this week. Funny how things happen, how quickly they happen, and how meaningful things really can turn out to be.
See you around, lame.
See you around, lame.
Monday, June 11, 2007
Amazing
Today, after work, after I mowed my grandparents' yard, and while on the way to my running trail, I saw the most amazing thing:
Two kids riding their bikes hard up a steep hill.
You're probably like "Uhh, cool, Josh." But honestly, it was amazing. What do you think of when I say these two little boys both had buzzed haircuts, no shirt in sight, and matching jean shorts? If you're like me and you hear that description, you are probably going to be picturing two little fellas who are almost identical. But now add in this last little bit. One was Caucasian and the other was African American.
Now, ideally, we should be able to say I saw two kids riding their bikes today and race shouldn't have to be a descriptive factor. However, it is definitely true that people will use race as a color significance when describing people of other origins. As an example, I will use myself. My dad mentioned that some kids were playing ball up the street outside of the Frankensmitchein's home. In my head, I have a mental picture of a bunch of white kids playing street ball, like we used to do. Is this racism? Am I being racist by only thinking about white kids? I think I am, although I would consider myself not racist and not even slightly prejudiced. A lot of growing up, experiencing, and working away from some of the family values were involved with helping me accomplish being a better person and I am so grateful for that. However, in this example, I would call myself being racist.
When I saw these two kids, I was extremely happy. They were biking, they were outside, the weather was amazing, they were having fun, and ethnicity wasn't an issue. Probably wasn't even something they had ever considered. My neighborhood has always been pretty diverse, much to the chagrinof some members of my family and other neighbors, but the level of diversity is skewing towards one side. In my opinion, this is fine. It's all good. Some others, however, do not like it all.
What I wish is that we could be like those kids. I wish we didn't notice differences or anything "abnormal" about other people. I wish everything was just easy-going and fun, that racism, prejudice, and discrimination didn't exist. I am reminded of a line in the movie Alexander where the hero says something along the lines of "what surprises me the most is your contempt for a world much older than ours" to his gathered war leaders in a heated argument. I used that and twisted it to mean "what makes you better than anyone else?" and I try to live by that. Yeah, I've been told I am conceited or stuck-up before, but those people who have said that don't know me, that's for sure. I even used that line rather vigorously during many "hush-hush" moments that I absolutely hated about being in a fraternity.
I want to be like those kids, so I try to be.
I think it was Mahatma Gandhi who said, "You must be the change you wish to see in the world."
Two kids riding their bikes hard up a steep hill.
You're probably like "Uhh, cool, Josh." But honestly, it was amazing. What do you think of when I say these two little boys both had buzzed haircuts, no shirt in sight, and matching jean shorts? If you're like me and you hear that description, you are probably going to be picturing two little fellas who are almost identical. But now add in this last little bit. One was Caucasian and the other was African American.
Now, ideally, we should be able to say I saw two kids riding their bikes today and race shouldn't have to be a descriptive factor. However, it is definitely true that people will use race as a color significance when describing people of other origins. As an example, I will use myself. My dad mentioned that some kids were playing ball up the street outside of the Frankensmitchein's home. In my head, I have a mental picture of a bunch of white kids playing street ball, like we used to do. Is this racism? Am I being racist by only thinking about white kids? I think I am, although I would consider myself not racist and not even slightly prejudiced. A lot of growing up, experiencing, and working away from some of the family values were involved with helping me accomplish being a better person and I am so grateful for that. However, in this example, I would call myself being racist.
When I saw these two kids, I was extremely happy. They were biking, they were outside, the weather was amazing, they were having fun, and ethnicity wasn't an issue. Probably wasn't even something they had ever considered. My neighborhood has always been pretty diverse, much to the chagrinof some members of my family and other neighbors, but the level of diversity is skewing towards one side. In my opinion, this is fine. It's all good. Some others, however, do not like it all.
What I wish is that we could be like those kids. I wish we didn't notice differences or anything "abnormal" about other people. I wish everything was just easy-going and fun, that racism, prejudice, and discrimination didn't exist. I am reminded of a line in the movie Alexander where the hero says something along the lines of "what surprises me the most is your contempt for a world much older than ours" to his gathered war leaders in a heated argument. I used that and twisted it to mean "what makes you better than anyone else?" and I try to live by that. Yeah, I've been told I am conceited or stuck-up before, but those people who have said that don't know me, that's for sure. I even used that line rather vigorously during many "hush-hush" moments that I absolutely hated about being in a fraternity.
I want to be like those kids, so I try to be.
I think it was Mahatma Gandhi who said, "You must be the change you wish to see in the world."
Saturday, June 02, 2007
A Skunk is a Skunk...
...even if it is just a baby.
Yesterday, after work I went running. Down the normal trail I use while back where I'm from and when I turned the corner under a bridge, I saw something that made me skid to an immediate halt.
There, directly in the middle of the trail was a skunk.
It was like any skunk in that it was black with two light colored stripes down its back. I wouldn't say the stripes were white, like they are in cartoons, but more of a dirty yellow-ish white. It had its back arched and tail straight up in the air. My first thought was shit, "I'm going to get sprayed." The skunk then calmed down and went back to gnawing on what looked like (and I later verified to be true) a dried-up dead frog.
Then, I realized that this was just a baby skunk. Small, very small, I would say only six inches including its tail. I turned off my ipod and looked around. I wasn't worried about the baby anymore, no not at all, I was worried about the baby's mommy. Surely something this young would still be attached to its mother. So, I scanned the nearby brush but couldn't see anything. I thought I could hear some movement in some dense bushes near the bridge, but I couldn't see anything and definitely didn't want to go looking, especially if that movement was the mom hiding from me. I hear tomato juice is the only way to get rid of skunk stink, but I wasn't willing to test that old wives's tale.
I tossed some sticks at the baby to try and scare it off the trail, but they didn't seem to phase it one bit. Eventually, the baby skunk started wobbling away farther under the bridge. It finally made its way to the side of a hill that led directly down into a creek.
I will be honest in admitting that for a second, all I wanted to do was kick the skunk into the creek to see what would happen.
Instead, I decided to watch it. I crept past the skunk to the other side of the bridge. Some man rode by on his bike and I pointed out the skunk to him. He just said "wow" and continued on his way. After the man was gone, the baby skunk crawled back onto the trail. I could faintly hear it squeaking. Its squeak isn't like a normal squeak, it's deeper or raspier somehow.
I scraped my foot along the loose sand on the trail thinking to scare it and the baby instead started wobbling towards the sound I was making.
At first, I thought the damn thing was attacking me so I panicked, and jumped away. But then I realized that it was actually following me. Or, more specifically, following the sound I was making. Clearly the baby skunk had no idea that it was following a human, something it should be trying to avoid or spraying at.
So, I played with it for a bit. Leading it on little trips around and under the bridge multiple times. It just kept on squeaking and shuffling after me the entire time. Sometimes it would speed up until it was within a certain distance of me and then just follow along, but only if I kept scraping my shoes along the trail. I am assuming that its eyesight is pretty poor when it's young and that its most important senses are its abilities to hear and smell.
Eventually, I realized that I couldn't keep doing this. I knew that I couldn't keep the skunk, because after all, a skunk is a skunk, even if it is just a baby. So, I stopped making my scraping noise and the baby skunk just stopped behind me and kept squeaking and turning around in circles.
My heart hurt when I realized I was abandoning it. This little baby skunk was helpless out here. People walk this trail all the time with their dogs, one of them could easily attack it. I've even seen cats on this trail before, one even right at this same bridge. But there was nothing I could do, a skunk is a skunk, even if it is a baby.
The only thing I could think of was to hide it. So I led it into the brush near the creek and crept away. I kept moving down the trail while watching this little bundle of fur move deeper into the greenery until I was around the corner and the baby skunk, the dead frog, the bridge, and the creek were all out of my direct line of sight.
I don't know the significance of this ending, but it felt right to include it for some reason: When I couldn't see the baby skunk anymore, I ran. I ran all the way back to the parking lot and my truck and I drove home.
Yesterday, after work I went running. Down the normal trail I use while back where I'm from and when I turned the corner under a bridge, I saw something that made me skid to an immediate halt.
There, directly in the middle of the trail was a skunk.
It was like any skunk in that it was black with two light colored stripes down its back. I wouldn't say the stripes were white, like they are in cartoons, but more of a dirty yellow-ish white. It had its back arched and tail straight up in the air. My first thought was shit, "I'm going to get sprayed." The skunk then calmed down and went back to gnawing on what looked like (and I later verified to be true) a dried-up dead frog.
Then, I realized that this was just a baby skunk. Small, very small, I would say only six inches including its tail. I turned off my ipod and looked around. I wasn't worried about the baby anymore, no not at all, I was worried about the baby's mommy. Surely something this young would still be attached to its mother. So, I scanned the nearby brush but couldn't see anything. I thought I could hear some movement in some dense bushes near the bridge, but I couldn't see anything and definitely didn't want to go looking, especially if that movement was the mom hiding from me. I hear tomato juice is the only way to get rid of skunk stink, but I wasn't willing to test that old wives's tale.
I tossed some sticks at the baby to try and scare it off the trail, but they didn't seem to phase it one bit. Eventually, the baby skunk started wobbling away farther under the bridge. It finally made its way to the side of a hill that led directly down into a creek.
I will be honest in admitting that for a second, all I wanted to do was kick the skunk into the creek to see what would happen.
Instead, I decided to watch it. I crept past the skunk to the other side of the bridge. Some man rode by on his bike and I pointed out the skunk to him. He just said "wow" and continued on his way. After the man was gone, the baby skunk crawled back onto the trail. I could faintly hear it squeaking. Its squeak isn't like a normal squeak, it's deeper or raspier somehow.
I scraped my foot along the loose sand on the trail thinking to scare it and the baby instead started wobbling towards the sound I was making.
At first, I thought the damn thing was attacking me so I panicked, and jumped away. But then I realized that it was actually following me. Or, more specifically, following the sound I was making. Clearly the baby skunk had no idea that it was following a human, something it should be trying to avoid or spraying at.
So, I played with it for a bit. Leading it on little trips around and under the bridge multiple times. It just kept on squeaking and shuffling after me the entire time. Sometimes it would speed up until it was within a certain distance of me and then just follow along, but only if I kept scraping my shoes along the trail. I am assuming that its eyesight is pretty poor when it's young and that its most important senses are its abilities to hear and smell.
Eventually, I realized that I couldn't keep doing this. I knew that I couldn't keep the skunk, because after all, a skunk is a skunk, even if it is just a baby. So, I stopped making my scraping noise and the baby skunk just stopped behind me and kept squeaking and turning around in circles.
My heart hurt when I realized I was abandoning it. This little baby skunk was helpless out here. People walk this trail all the time with their dogs, one of them could easily attack it. I've even seen cats on this trail before, one even right at this same bridge. But there was nothing I could do, a skunk is a skunk, even if it is a baby.
The only thing I could think of was to hide it. So I led it into the brush near the creek and crept away. I kept moving down the trail while watching this little bundle of fur move deeper into the greenery until I was around the corner and the baby skunk, the dead frog, the bridge, and the creek were all out of my direct line of sight.
I don't know the significance of this ending, but it felt right to include it for some reason: When I couldn't see the baby skunk anymore, I ran. I ran all the way back to the parking lot and my truck and I drove home.
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